Tiger Woods to Make Statement Tomorrow (2/19/10)

Tomorrow, Tiger Woods will be issuing a statement regarding his recently-discovered extramarital activities along with when we can expect his return to the PGA tour. Popular belief is that Tiger will not be answering any questions. Basically, le Tigre is going to try to clear up some of the uncertainty of his future and attempt to protect his image while avoiding the mess he has created. If I could ask Tiger some questions, I think I would start with some of these:

- You were hooking up with some stupid fly honey's. So, Tiger, I ask you...was it awesome?

- Mr. Woods, did you ever play the back 9?

- Which of your many, many mistresses had the best pair of floppers?

- Are you now afraid of your wife, Elin, going all ghetto on your ass again?

- Tiger, did you really pork the middle-aged waitress from Perkins or is that bullshit?

(If yes, Tiger, what the hell were you doing frequenting a Perkins? Aren't you some kind of super billionaire?)

- Keep it real with me now. Would you do it again?