The Real World

What's up peepz,

Sorry to start out so bitter but I've noticed something super-duper important. The real world kills your dreams and forces even the most immature graduate to "grow up." The point is that jobs are no fun but we all need to get paid. Being in a work setting with co-workers requires you to talk about bullshit, such as: politics, babies, television shows("OMG Did you see Grey's last night!" - random faggot), the news, and other crap I really dont care about. The sad part is that after listening to people talk about this absolute shit for so long, you start to care, even when you know you shouldn't. This is, of course, if you are lucky enough to have english speaking co-workers in this rough economic time (there it is, economics talk, boooring). Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy I even have a job, I'm just pulling a Peter Pan. Who the hell wants to grow up? Not Generation Y, thats for sure.

In high school and all 5 years of college, I was concerned with the important stuff: getting drunk, laughing, girls, getting to 2nd base (yes, even in college), finding the best new tunes, writing comedy and filming our shorts, making fun of people with my friends, and nicknaming everyone at my school something I wouldnt call them to their face because I'd most likely get the shit beat out of my 130 lb frame. I've never been big, but I've always been quick upstairs. You learn to deal.

Anyways, I've been working at a "real" job for a little more than a year and I can feel the funny and happy draining out of my soul. 40 years of this!!! tell me you're kidding!!! Now, I'm not depressed, I'm just growing up. The depression/adjustment stage ended about 5 months ago. Throughout my life, I've found nothing I love more than a good hard LAUGH (you totally thought i was gonna say weiner). The ones that make your stomach hurt and a tear trickle down your face, you know the one I'm talking about. I don't ever want to lose that feeling or my sense of humor and I'm a little scared I might.

One shining light that gives me hope for success and happiness is Adam Barefoot. Besides a week-long temp job here and there, the man has been unemployed since college, almost a year, and he is still excited for the future and going to LA or NYC to "make it." Every single time I hang out with Adam, he forces me to grow down (?) and puts a little enjoyable immaturity in my life if that makes any sense. So, thanks Adam. Don't ever grow up, because as soon as you do, you're bringing us with you and I do not want to see that happen. Our funniest times are ahead of us.

Inspiration time: I'm writing this to tell everyone (6 readers) to enjoy your life. Plan for the future financially, but dont worry about what the world will be like when you are 80. We could all get nuked tomorrow and have 3 legged kids with fins on their backs running around, or something bad could happen...maybe cancer wipes us completely out, maybe lions take over and eat all our babies like that movie "Children of Men", and please dont get me started on women drivers. Do what makes you happy whenever you can, you'll regret it if you don't. I'm going to try to hang on to my sense of humor and my dreams as long as I can because they make me happy. What would really make ME happy is to get a job that I love so I can enjoy the next 40+ years. I've always wanted to write for sitcoms or sketches for SNL and I am going to bust my ass to get there. If anyone wants to give me a little help or even a little shove on the way, I'm all for it. Thanks for listening to my rant.

Peace in the middle east,

Danimal

Jammyriffic Things

These are a few lists of totally super awesome things:

5 Best modes of transportation:
1. Body Surfing
2. Escalator
3. Scootering
4. Teleportation/Portals
5. Hang gliding

3 things made to bury:
1. Time Capsule
2. Land Mines
3. Potatoes

Unpopular Super Powers that I could deal with:
1. Skin that seeps poison (like poison dart frogs)
2. Microwave Vision (to cook hot pockets, not babies)
3. No Need for Sleepability (Sleeping is for pussies, but I'd still nap here and there)
4. Perfect understanding of angles (to hang paintings with ease and probably impress girls)
5. Ability to speak to/understand Dogs (do you need an explanation?)

6 Names I would never name my kids:
1. Herman
2. Terrance
3. Kevin
4. Zachary
5. Stella
6. Caroline

Other excellence:
1. Transforming Sponges (Just add water)
2. Kids that wear multiple collared shirts
3. Getting drunk and then giving homeless people dollars and then forcing them to buy alcohol with it because everyone knows they're gonna. You're not buying a happy meal with that, you probably dont even have a kid.
4. Saying wazzzaaaaaa! even though that commercial was like 9 years ago.
5. LenDale White.


West side,

Danimal