Alternative Fuels for PEOPLE

What if you never had to sleep? You could do so many things. And don't get me started on eating....talk about a waste of time....

That's why I invented.....

drumroll.....

GASOLINE FOR HUMANS!!!! It's a fuel that nourishes and energizes 24/7. Unfortunately, you still have to poop. (did I say unfortunately?)

What to call it? Humaline? Humangas? Manjuice? I think I'll stick with Humaline [hu-ma-leen].

Humaline: No more food, no more sleep....unless you want to. But you better believe I'm gonna fucking draw all over you while you sleep.

Some drawbacks to no sleep:

-asshole bosses would make you work a lot
-your kids would have soccer practice every day (but they could probably drive themselves at age 8)
-8 year old drivers

Ok, it's not a real product but you were totally pumped to drink some.

P.S. Pillow fight this weekend in downtown Raleigh (and most other big US cities). For all of you who live in dumpy, redneck towns; dont worry Adam is gonna film it and put it online. Unless my pillow slaps the camera out of his girly hands. Yes, he would cry.

-Dbles